Sunday 27 May 2012

Why men shut down: 4 simple reasons to explain the phenomenon

"...when a man shuts down, game over"

I think everybody knows what I mean when I talk about men shutting down. 

It's when a man just stops talking and goes eerily silent and no amount of hand stands or back flips make get him to budge.

Whatever conversation you are trying to have with him, he does NOT want to have it. 

You can't really be sure if it's just that he doesn't want to have the conversation at that precise moment or EVER...

You fear it's the latter, so you keep prodding and pushing... and making the situation worse.

If you rant and rave; keep talking or trying to force the issue, it's like talking to a brick wall.

He doesn't want to talk. He wants to pretend as though the conversation was never even broached.

So you get no response....

You can talk until you are blue in the face but when a man shuts down , game over!

You better believe it until or if he is ready to open up and tell you what was wrong in the first place.

What used to annoy me was that the more I talked, the more silent he'd become.

And it was doubly annoying because my gosh, this subject was important to me dammit, to us! 

How could he not want to talk about it?! Whatever "it" was...

But the thing is, nothing that I could have said at that point would have persuaded him to open up to talk about whatever it was that was bothering him about me and the conversation.

Here are 4 of the reasons men shut down:

1. They can feel when the conversation is going to be difficult for them to handle and they would rather not have it at all.

2. When they sense that the topic is going to cause a flurry of negative emotions from your end directed squarely at them.

3. Sometimes they just cannot respond to you in a way that would resolve the problem or make it go away

4. They are afraid of saying the wrong thing and making a bad situation worse. 

That pressure is enough to silence them. 

Whatever negativity you are bringing to the conversation, they want to no part of it, at that point in time.

That's all there is to it. It doesn't matter what the problem is right there and then. I am not saying that you shouldn't care about the problem.

I am saying that all that matters when your significant other does shut down, is that you realise that if you keep talking and pushing, and throwing a tantrum, you will make him want to get away from you NOT open up and draw closer to you!

So how can you get your man to want to open up to you and tell you whatever he is thinking?

Click here to watch the video and to get the secret survey results on what men really want the women in their lives to know!

This information, straight from a survey of 20 000 men, will change your relationship for the better!

At least, you'll have the type of relationship you wanted and best of all, you'll have a man who finds it a joy to open up to you because you alone understand him!

Enjoy!

Get your secret survey results here!







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